


Return to Sender

by MBL2307



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Background Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Insecure Magnus Bane, Insecurity, Jealous Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane & Catarina Loss Friendship, One-Sided Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Romantic Magnus Bane, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28776546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MBL2307/pseuds/MBL2307
Summary: Alec's best friend from Med-school, Jace, shows up to his birthday party last minute, and his boyfriend of two months, Magnus, gets very jealous when he is forced to watch the best friends reunite. Things take a turn when Jace makes a confession to Magnus, that has the potential to break his relationship with Alec.Inspired by New Girls, season 5, episode 20.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 32
Kudos: 168





	Return to Sender

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there my lovelies!
> 
> I know, I know... I have a work in progress I should be focusing on, and I am, I swear, but this just... kind of snuck up on me! I just couldn't stop myself! I knew I had to write it as soon as I saw the episode of New Girl that inspired this story.
> 
> Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Please let me know your thoughts, they're always appreciated!

“Andrew”

Magnus repeats the name Cat read out loud, from the flash card she is holding up in her hand. There are quite a few more stacked up on her lap. “Andrew.” he repeats again in concentration, racking his brain for any information Alec had supplied him about the man. “Oh, he’s the new guy at work.” he finally announces with a triumphant smile, “he and Alec hit it off, which is rare because doctors can be pompous asses.”

Cat chuckles and shakes her head, as she lowers the card and places it at the bottom of the stack, then lifts up another from the top. “Okay, how about this one.” she looks at the name on the new card she is now holding up, “Raj.”

Magnus snorts immediately, “pompous ass doctor.” he says with a smirk, causing Cat to roll her eyes, but also smiles fondly at him at the same time. “This guy has been a thorn in Alec’s throat since he started working at the E.R.” Magnus explains, proud of himself for knowing all this, “probably just jealous of how much better Alexander is.”

“Yeah, because you’re real objective.” Cat snorts and shakes her head again, clearly amused by the whole thing.

“Nuh-hu!” Magnus shakes his head vehemently, “Alexander’s scores and stats have been so much higher, he’s also ahead of him for the promotion.”

Cat just smiles fondly as she lowers the flash card, her eyes focused on Magnus as she does. She is about to pick another card from the top of the pile, but then quickly lowers it, causing Magnus to frown. “Mags, is this…” she begins, but trails off with a deep sigh, “is all this really necessary? I mean, that boy is completely enchanted by you.”

“Enchanted?” Magnus repeats, tilting his head to the side slightly, with an amused smile on his lips, “am I some kind of warlock?”

Cat just shakes her head lightly, “Magnus, you don’t need to try so hard.”

Magnus sighs and bites his bottom lip, looking off to the side and staring out the window, “I know, I just…” Magnus shrugs and looks back at his best friend with the kind of a raw look in his eyes, only she gets to see, “I want his friends to like me.” he confesses in a small voice.

“They will adore you, just as he does.” Cat promises, laying a gentle hand on his. “Just as I do.”

“I know it’s silly, it’s just been a long time since I felt this way about someone, if ever.” Magnus continues to confess, needing to get this off his chest, “I finally found someone who’s genuinely good for me, and I just don’t want to screw this up.”

“You won’t.” Cat tells him with conviction, a determined look in her eyes, “you will do great, I know it.” 

“I just want it all to be perfect.” Cat thankfully remains silent, giving him a moment to ponder on his next confession while he chews at his bottom lip, “I’m going to tell him I love him.” he finally blurts, feeling a bit relieved to get it out in the open.

“Omg, Magnus, why didn’t you tell me before?” Cat quickly exclaims in excitement, looking eager for more details.

“I wasn’t sure, I was confused… But I do, I love him.” Magnus tells her in a weak, vulnerable voice, “I’m just so nervous and scared, because I haven’t…” his voice trails off, and before Cat even whispers a soft ‘I know.’ it’s clear to him that she already understood.

“So when will you tell him?” she questions eagerly.

“After the party, I want to take him for a romantic walk through Brooklyn Bridge.” he tells her with a shy smile, “we walked there on our first date.”

“Awww you’re such a hopeless romantic!” Cat coos in a high pitch tone.

“I can’t help it, I will always be a romancer at heart.” he declares with a hand on his chest, over his heart, adding a bit of his usual dramatic flair. 

“Yes you are.” Cat agrees with a soft smile, and when Magnus looks down at the cue cards, Cat smirks and shakes her head again, “and you don’t need these cue cards to make a good impression.”

Magnus smiles sheepishly at her, “just one more?” 

Cat rolls her eyes and lifts yet another flash card, with an exasperated, but very fond sigh.

**…**

“Happy bird-day Dr. Alec.” Ragnor announces in his formal, British accent, sliding a neatly wrapped gift across the table. 

Alec lowers the newspaper he’s been reading, and pushes his mug of coffee aside as Ragnor pushes the box in front of him on the table. “Thank you Ragnor.” he smiles awkwardly at the man, “you really didn’t have to.”

From the other side of Alec, Raphael lifts his head and turns to Ragnor with a frown, “Did you just say ‘bird day?’” he questions.

“Yes, I did.” Ragnor says proudly, then looks back at Alec, “Magnus likes you so much, so I figured we should probably make you feel welcome.” Alec looks up at Ragnor, mid-unwrapping, with a cocked eyebrow. Ragnor did have a talent for being polite and cynical at the same time. “So welcome to the family.” he adds with a…. Suspiciously warning tone.

Alec smiles at him then finally finishes to unwrap the gift, a light chuckle bubbling from his chest as he pulls out the button-up shirt, “oh, wow. It’s a bird shirt.” he smiles at the blue shirt with the green and yellow birds on it, then looks up at Ragnor again, “so why a bird shirt?”

Ragnor just winks at him, and smiles cheekily, “you know why.” he suggests as he lifts his mug and takes a sip of his vanilla tea.

Alec vaguely remembers something about complimenting Ragnor on his own bird shirt, when he and Magnus were about to go on their first date. They were both standing awkwardly at the entrance to the shared loft, while he was waiting for Magnus to be ready.

Ragnor had just given him something resembling a shovel talk, his arms crossed and a warning gaze in his eyes. Which Alec hates to admit, scared the living shit out of him. So with nothing else to say, and in a small desperate attempt to get the man to actually like him, he threw out the first compliment he could think of.

And as he looks at Ragnor now, who has an achingly matching look on his face to the one he had then, something tells him that this shirt is not just about welcoming him to the family. Oh no, Alec see’s it for the warning sign it is.

“Perhaps you can wear it tonight.” Ragnor adds with a pleased grin, and if the test wasn’t clear enough so far, it definitely is now, “you know, for your party… to show just how  _ dedicated _ you are.”

Luckily, Raphael saves him from the awkward moment and from actually responding, “Alec, I’m sorry I won’t be able to attend your party tonight.” he says, but doesn’t actually sound anywhere near sorry, “I have… business to attend to.”

“That’s okay, no worries.” Alec is quick to shrug it off, still a little overwhelmed.

Just then Magnus and Cat walk into the dining area of the loft, and Alec sighs in relief as they approach. “Darling, I am so excited to meet your friends, including…” Magnus lifts the pile of cue cards he is holding and reads from the top card, “Dr. Garroway.” he announces with an adorable smile, causing Alec to chuckle fondly.

“Dr. Garroway is my boss.” Alec tells him sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “but also a great friend.”

“I knew that…” Magnus says sweetly, just as Alec’s phone pings.

Alec smiles fondly as he reaches blindly for his phone, fishing it out of his pocket and only then tearing his gaze away from Magnus to look down at the phone. The message that awaits him there, immediately spreads a warm smile on his face. “Oh, you better add another flash card.” Alec announces with excitement, looking up at Magnus again, “My friend Jace just wrote to me that his conference got delayed by a day, so he can come in the end.”

“Oh.” is all Magnus says, as he starts fidgeting with his rings.

“He’s my best friend from med-school.” Alec explains to no one in particular.

“Yeah, I remember.” Magnus does his best to plaster a smile on his face, forcing himself to remember that what happened between the two was ancient history.

“Jace, huh?” Cat jumps in, clearly seeing Magnus’ distress and past his brave face, “I’ve never heard you mention him before, are you guys close?”

**…**

Later that evening, when Jace finally enters the Hunter’s Moon, where they’re celebrating Alec’s birthday, the birthday boy immediately b-lines towards the blond handsome man. “Jace!” Alec calls out in excitement, as they collide together in a tight hug.

“Hey buddy.” Jace calls back with a huge grin on his face.

From their seats at the bar, Magnus and Cat watch they exchange between the two best friends with wide, bewildered eyes, “Oh, they look…  _ close _ .” Cat is the first to comment, as they continue to watch the long,  _ long  _ embrace between the two men.

Magnus tries to swallow past the lump that is already forming in his throat, and ignore the dread brewing in the pit of his stomach. “Yes.” he agrees in a weak voice, as both Jace and Alec laugh in delight.

“It’s so good to see you!” they can hear Alec exclaim.

“It’s so good to see you too, been way too long.” Jace returns with pure delight.

“Way too close.” Magnus adds, gritting through his teeth as every nerve in his body screams at him to go claim his man. 

“Well, if it’s any comfort… Alec is wearing the bird shirt Ragnor gave him.” Cat tries to encourage him, looking both amused and impressed, but even though it might proclaim something very significant and big, it does little to console Magnus in the moment.

Alec and Jace finally pull back, and have a hushed conversation, which unfortunately Magnus can no longer hear. They are standing way too close for his liking, and they both seem so content and enveloped in each other and the conversation they’re having.

To his dismay, Alec doesn’t come back to him or even introduce them to Jace. Instead, the two best friends sit in a booth nearby and seem to be exchanging stories and reminiscing. Alec is laughing so hard and loud, in a manner that Magnus has never seen before.

“I’ve never seen him laugh like that.” He says in a weak voice, finally looking away from the two and towards his best friend with pleading eyes, begging her to tell him what he’s supposed to do.

“Do you want to tell me what’s the deal with this Jace guy?” Cat questions with a small cringe on her face. Magnus and Alec had spoken of him briefly, and he never thought that the man was worth mentioning to Cat.

“Alec told me that he used to have a crush on him, that they had this short fling, but decided to stay just friends in the end.” Magnus explains, a little deflated, “Then Jace moved to the West coast to work at a hospital in LA.”

“Okay, so they haven’t seen each other in a while.” Cat says matter of factly, “they’re probably just excited to finally spend some time together again.” 

Magnus gives her a doubtful stare, then a pointed glare towards his boyfriend and his best friend, “well, it looks to me like a bit more than that.” Then with another pleading look at his best friend, he goes on, “please tell me what to do.”

“Well, why don’t you start by going over there and introducing yourself.” Cat suggests calmly.

“Yes, I’ll go mark my territory.” Magnus announces, downing the last few sips of his cocktail in one gulp, then stands, missing Cat’s eye roll.

“That’s not exactly what I meant…” Cat mumbles, knowing that she has no way of stopping her best friend.

“I’m going in.” Magnus elegantly, and predictably ignores her comment, then with another deep breath, heads towards his man.

**…**

Magnus is pleasantly buzzed as he leans into his boyfriend, who is still stuck in a lively conversation with Jace. He’s never been one for PDA, but he suddenly can’t stop himself from blatantly feeling up his man.

He hates himself for doing it, even as he is doing it, hates this ugly feeling of jealousy that is completely throwing him off kilter. It’s all causing him to act so differently, so unlike him - he knows that. Yet he still can’t stop it.

“Hey, babe.” Magnus cuts in as Jace is mid-sentence, he has no idea what the blond man was even saying, but he also didn’t care, “babe…” he almost whines as he pats Alec’s chest in an attempt to get his attention.

“ _ Babe _ ?” Alec frowns at him, Magnus has never called him that before.

“Remember that time, when you were feeling all playful and you wanted to show off your strong muscles…” Magnus rambles in a high pitched tone, smiling stupidly at Alec, while making a show of rubbing his biceps, “I was like, ‘no, Alec I’m too heavy’, and you were like, ‘nah, I can do it.’?”

Alec continues to frown at him as he is clearly trying to comprehend what is going on, “yes…?” he answers slowly, dragging out the short word.

“So then you just lifted me, and pushed me up against the wall.” Magnus announces with a pointed glance toward Jace, then he looks back at Alec with a smile, “remember what happened next?” he asks eagerly.

Alec’s frowns deepens, as he lowers his voice so Jace won’t have to hear their intimate details, “we… we had sex?” then he immediately seems to shake himself, “Magnus, what’s this all about?”

“Yes, we had sex.” Magnus repeats louder, so Jace could hear. Then he looks at Jace and smirks, “the kind where you need a snack after.” he exclaims and winks at Jace. If he weren’t five drinks in, perhaps he would have cringed and been extremely ashamed of himself… Hell, he never would have said anything at all. But the alcohol, mixed in with the helpless feeling of Alec slipping through his fingers, had him completely falling apart.

He didn’t care, because to him, in this moment, he was hanging on by a thread. He was hanging on desperately so he wouldn't lose his man.

Then he dives in and pulls Alec in for a sloppy, messy kiss. Alec seems quite taken aback, but kisses back anyway. Magnus hears Jace clear his throat, as he wraps his arms tighter around Alec, opening one eye to make sure his message is loud and clear. 

“Magnus, Magnus…” Alec murmurs against his lips with an amused chuckle, as he gently pulls back and pushes him away, “is everything okay?” he questions, watching Magnus with yet another frown.

Magnus just smiles broadly at him, “perfect.” he lies, hating himself for being so insecure and Alec for being so oblivious, as he goes back to his conversation with Jace.

Sighing deeply, he pops a grape from the fruit platter on the table into his mouth, then leans back and folds his arms. Magnus quickly starts choking, as his foggy brain clearly has trouble swallowing the grape.

He leans forward and frantically waves his hands, as Alec and Jace finally notice what is going on. “He’s choking!” Jace announces, as he gestures to Alec.

“Oh god, Magnus!” Alec quickly exclaims, “stand up.” he pushes his boyfriends to his feet as Jace moves quickly towards him and performs the heimlich on him, easily sending the grape flying back to the fruit platter.

Magnus continues to cough through it, “thank you.” he chokes out, suddenly feeling more sober, and so, so humiliated.

“Magnus, are you okay?” Alec is immediately in his space, cupping his face. But Magnus pulls back and averts his gaze. He must look ridiculous.

“I’m fine.” he lies yet again, “I’ll just go... freshen up quickly.” 

Then he’s dashing away, as he hears Alec call after him, but he doesn’t stop until he is safely inside the restroom. He b-lines to the sinks, and even though he is dreading what he will find, he looks up at himself in the mirror anyway. 

“Shit.” he hisses as he quickly grabs a paper towel and wets it with tap water, then starts cleaning up the smudged eyeliner as best he can. “Stupid, stupid man.” he mutters to himself.

The sound of the door opening behind him, has him jumping and spinning around. He actually expects to find Alec, but quickly deflates when he finds Jace there instead. Then his eyes and mouth widen in horror as it all dawns on him.

He’s been acting like an immature teenager in his first relationship.

“Jace, I’m so sorry.” he quickly blurts out before Jace can say anything, “I’m sorry, I’m so embarrassed by the way I behaved.”

Jace just shrugs and waves it off, taking a few steps closer, “please, what for?” he questions with an understanding smile, “for marking your territory? Look, I get it.”

Shit, Magnus wanted to hate the man so much, but it was so hard when he was being so nice and understanding. It even seemed so genuine.

Magnus quickly shakes his head, “But I was acting childish and dumb and jealous.” he goes on, cringing from his own behavior, wanting to just disappear. “And I… I see why Alec likes you.”

Jace smiles, “Well, I see why he likes you, too.” he returns.

“Will you please forgive me for the way I acted?” Magnus questions hopefully, “I don’t know why I just assume you’re wildly in love with him.”

“Oh, no, I am.” Jace quickly cuts in with all honesty.

Magnus just stares for a moment, then bursts out laughing, even when Jace repeats his words, “I really am.” this must be a bad joke, so Magnus just continues to laugh like a complete moron, “seriously, Magnus, I am in love with Alec.”

The grave seriousness in Jace’s tone and gaze has Magnus halting his laugh immediately, staring at the blond man with utter shock at the blunt honesty. As the words he was both not expecting and dreading.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus, but I’ve been in love with him for ten years and I just couldn’t lie to you about that.” Jace says in such a vulnerable tone, in complete contrast to the confidence he exuded in waves just moments ago.

“Ten years?” Magnus exclaims, forgetting for a moment that this man had confessed to being in love with his boyfriend. “You didn’t tell him for ten years?”

“I did… Well, I tried to at least.” Jace confesses sheepishly.

“What, when?” Magnus quickly demands.

“Well, it was during our second year of med school… we just both decided that it was best to be friends, then he was about to go work with Doctors Without Borders.” Jace explains, “so I didn’t know when I was going to see him again, and, um, one night I just sat and wrote him a letter.”

Magnus gasps and holds a hand to his own chest, because dammit, this was starting to be too romantic for his liking.

“And everything came out, you know, everything that I was feeling, everything that I was holding back.” Jace continues with a sort of passion that both scares and touches Magnus.

“Wow, I love letters…” Magnus finds himself murmuring, because damn it, the whole thing was so sweet and romantic.

“I know me too.” Jace says with a soft smile, that made it hard for Magnus to hate him like he wants to, “but Alec didn’t respond.” he then adds with a sad puppy look.

“Oh, no.” Magnus actually genuinely feels bad for the guy.

“I just figure he didn’t want to embarrass me, you know?” Jace goes on with a small shrug, then lowers his gaze as he fidgets with his fingers, “I mean, I get it, it’s hard… we were friends, then… whatever we were, then friends again. So it’s complicated…” Jace takes in a deep breath and releases it with a sigh before continuing, “then he came home, and we just kept on like normal, and it was really painful, but I… I couldn’t lose him as a friend.”

“Of course you couldn’t…” Magnus finds himself responding with remorse, knowing the feeling Jace was speaking of, from up close.

Jace is swinging back and forth on his feet, then reaches a hand into his back pocket, “then… last week, this came in the mail.” he pulls out a stained and slightly crumpled up letter, causing Magnus to gasp yet again, “return to sender.” Jace reads the big red letters written across the back of the envelope. 

They both stand there awkwardly for a moment, staring at the letter in silence. If Magnus weren’t still under the influence of alcohol, perhaps he could have made a little more sense of the whole thing. Heck, even dead sober he wouldn’t know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions that were bubbling inside him, almost painfully. 

“He never got it.” Jace stated the obvious, finally breaking the tense silence.

“Oh my god…” Magnus mumbles, not knowing what else to say, then he looks back up at Jace who seems to be just as lost as him, “he never knew how you felt.”

“No, I think he still thought he was just a fling to me…” Jace confesses in a soft murmur, “and I… I came here tonight to finally give him this letter and then…” his voice trails off and Magnus watches him in expectation, a little lost in the whole romantic gesture.

“Then what happened?” he urges him on.

“Then I met you.” Jace almost exclaims in frustration.

“Oh, right…” Magnus deflates, pointing dumbly at himself, “me.”

After another short moment of silence Jace outstretches his hand with the letter in it, “here.” he says, urging Magnus to take it, “I can’t throw it away, but I also can’t give it to him.”

Magnus hesitates for a moment, but then grabs the letter with a sad smile, and looks down at it, already feeling his heart break all over again. Of course this was all too good to be true, there was no way he would ever be able to keep a man like Alec to himself. Alec was never his to begin with, and now it is clear that he never will be.

As if reading his mind, Jace quickly adds, “Don’t worry Magnus, you… you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not the one for Alec.” he shakes his head and takes another deep breath, “you are, and I won’t stand between you.”

_ But you  _ **_are._ ** Magnus’ mind is yelling, because now Jace is right bang in the middle, between them. Yet Magnus isn’t brave enough to voice it, or accuse the man professing his love for  _ his  _ boyfriend.

Magnus nods slowly, looking back and forth between Jace and the letter, “I’m going to be very honest,” he finally says in a weak voice, “I’m having a umm… a very hard time rooting for myself right now.”

**…**

Magnus is sitting at the bar with Cat once more, watching from afar, yet again, as Jace and Alec say their goodbyes a few feet away. “Ugh… ugh!” he groans, the sound coming from deep in his chest, “that was the most romantic story I’ve ever heard, and I don’t want to get between them.” he says sadly as he fumbles with the letter in his hands.

Magnus looks at Cat like a deer caught in the headlight, pleading yet again for the right thing to do. But before she can respond, he goes on, “or do I? I love Alec, and I don’t want to throw it all away because Jace couldn’t figure out how to buy a forever stamp.”

“Just because you give Alec this letter, it doesn’t mean that he’s automatically going to choose Jace.” Cat tells him with conviction, clearly trying to get Magnus to fight for his man. “You can’t give up on him.”

“Yeah.” Magnus quickly agrees with a soft sniffle.

“Yeah.” Cat mimics with an encouraging smile.

But then Magnus looks back towards where Jace and Alec are standing and laughing at god only knows what, looking so happy, and Magnus quickly frowns again with a groan, “damn it.” he curses, gesturing angrily towards the two men, “look at them…”

The two best friends watch as the other two best friends embrace each other once again, in a tight goodbye hug, which has Magnus clenching his jaw in conviction. “That’s it, I’m not going to lose Alec because I’m some dumb romantic.” he declares adamantly, looking back at Cat, “Cat, get rid of this letter.” he demands and hand it over to her, shoving it into her hands. “Be done with this letter, be done with you, Jace… you… you handsome, sexy adonis.” 

Cat takes the letter with one hand and cups Magnus’ with the other, as the man goes on in a rampage, “you must be so proud of me, I’m finally being practical and realistic, and not some moony-eyed freak, who’s seen too many romantic comedies.” Then after another short pause, he points an accusatory hand at Cat, “I’m basically being you.”

“Not anymore, Pal.” Cat disagrees in dismay, “Ragnor has made me weak in my stupid knees.” They both chuckle, then smile fondly at each other, then Cat sighs and pulls her hands away, holding up the letter with both hands and gives Magnus a pointed look.

“We both know that you won’t be able to live with yourself, if you don’t give this letter to Alec.” she says in a sad, but matter-of-factly tone, because they both know it’s the right thing to do.

“Yeah…” Magnus whispers in a small, sad tone, bowing his head down, taking the letter back from Cat, eyeing it for a moment, then looks back up at Cat, “What if I lose him?” he questions with a pout, his heart drumming in his ears.

Cat shrugs softly and tilts her head, looking at him with empathetic eyes, “well, then you will at least know, Darling, that it’s not your love story.” when Magnus groans and slams his forehead against his arms on the bar, she quickly adds, “but I’ve seen the way he looks at you, he won’t give up.”

Magnus wants to believe her, he really does… but he just can’t find it in him, because deep down he knows.

He’s not the one, never was. And he was a fool to ever think he could be.

**…**

“I’m getting my birthday present at an airport hotel?” Alec chuckles as he looks out at the small brown building, then back at Magnus who is shifting nervously in the driver's seat.

Last night after the party Magnus claimed to be super tired and quickly hurried to get undressed and into bed, leaving no space for argument. Luckily Alec didn’t push him for answers for his strange behavior, even though Magnus could see that he was dying to bring it up.

Magnus spent the next hour or two, as Alec quickly drifted off to sleep beside him, wondering what in the world he was supposed to do. Because Alec definitely deserved to know, Magnus didn’t want to prevent him from having what he wanted. He didn’t want them to wake up one day full of regrets or resentment.

So in the morning, he quickly rushed them out of the house under the pretense of a birthday gift waiting for him. Which there actually was, in a way.

“Oh, are you taking me on a surprise trip?” Alec questions before Magnus can respond, a silly, excited smile on his face.

“No, umm… I have a surprise for you.” Magnus stammers out a bit awkwardly, feeling quite a bit out of his element, “but it’s not exactly a present, just wait here.”

“Okay.” Alec is frowning, but doesn’t argue as Magnus unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the car door. 

Just as he is about to leave, Magnus quickly turns back around with a determined look in his eyes as he blurts out his next words, “look, I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how this turns out… and by ‘this’ you will see what I am talking about soon…” Magnus rambles under the heavy gaze of his gorgeous boyfriend, who seems so adorably, and understandably confused. He takes a deep breath and smiles sadly at his man, fighting back tears that have already begun to stubbornly fight their way up, “I just want you to be happy.”

Alec smiles fondly at him, leaning forward and slowly cupping Magnus’ face, “and I want you to be happy, too.” he says softly, his brows still a bit furrowed, “but where is this all coming from?” Alec searches Magnus’ eyes, which Magnus quickly averts so he won’t be able to see what’s behind them, like he knows Alec easily could, “is this about last night? Because I-”

Magnus shakes his head, cutting him off and pulls away slowly and gently, “you’ll see in a moment.” Then he is out of the car and walks quickly towards the hotel entrance.

  
  
  


“Magnus?” Jace questions in confusion as he opens the door to his hotel room, but before he can ask him what he’s doing there - which was surely going to be his next question - Magnus pulls out the letter from his pocket and outstretches it to Jace.

“Tell Alec.” he declares, and when Jace hesitates, he goes on, “he deserves to know how you feel.”

Jace takes the letter from Magnus’ hands and looks down at it in bewilderment, “wow, you are either really cool or really cocky.”

“Well, I think  _ you _ are either really cool or really cocky.” Magnus returns with a soft smile, which by no means reaches his eyes. Neither does Jace’s.

“Thank you.” Jace whispers, looking between Magnus and the letter, “this is really big of you.”

Magnus just nods and swallows around the lump that has been sitting in his throat since the night before. Afraid his voice will finally crack he stays silent and just keeps up the soft smile.

Then Jace is closing the door, but before he can shut it completely, Magnus pushes his hand against it, and when Jace frowns at him, he explains, “I should have been more clear.” he laughs awkwardly, then points his thumb over his shoulder, “he’s downstairs.”

Thankfully, he manages to keep his voice from cracking and holds himself together until he is far enough away.

**…**

“So, you just left him there to talk?” Ragnor questions with a deep frown as Magnus pours himself a second cup of Pinot. 

Magnus hums, then leans back on the couch with a now full glass of wine, “yup.” he says, popping the ‘p’, feeling how ridiculous and absurd the whole situation is. “And now, for all I know, Alec and Jace are tearing apart a business-friendly hotel room together.”

“Well, I for one am very proud of you.” Cat, who is sitting beside Ragnor on the loveseat, declares, “I know that it was difficult, but it was the only way to be certain and find out what you need to know.”

Magnus nods slowly and takes a sip from his wine, “thanks.” he whispers, looking out into space, his eyes absentmindedly searching and landing on the clock, which is hanging on the opposite wall, it’s hands mocking him as they tick. Reminding him that it's been  _ hours _ . 

Outside the sun has already set, not a single ray of sunshine or even a hint that it was even there at all. It was completely dark now, and if Alec has yet to come back to him, he likely already lost.

“I need…” Magnus suddenly tears his eyes away from the clock, looking over at his friends who are both watching him intently, with gazes that he despises, “I need to go take a shower, maybe sleep for an eternity or so.”

Thankfully, neither argue and allow him to go wallow alone in his room, “I’m here if you need me.” Cat reminds softly, and Magnus nods at her, then walks off.

When Magnus is out of the room and no longer in ear shot, Ragnor sighs heavily and looks over at Cat with anger in his eyes, “I should have never…” he begins in a deep voice, but Cat quickly cuts him off with a soft chuckle as she lays her palm on his cheek.

“I know, Honey.” she says sweetly, “but it wasn’t really up to you, there was nothing you could have done.”

“Maybe the bird shirt wasn’t clear enough?” Ragnor questions with a frown.

Cat chuckles again, “oh, I think it was plenty clear, you goof.” she shakes her head and takes a sip of her wine as her boyfriend grumbles under his breath.

He is about to say something further, clearly ready to enter a full on rant, when a loud knock echoes through the loft. “I’ll get it.” he says instead, and gets up to answer the door to reveal Alec standing there, looking not much better than Magnus does, a fact which Ragnor is very pleased about. 

“What do you want?” Ragnor snaps angrily, then goes on before Alec can say anything, “here to break his heart even more? Well, you’ll have to go through me fir-”

“Ragnor!” Cat reprimands, cutting him off as she comes to stand beside him, “leave the poor boy alone.”

“Is Magnus here?” Alec questions in a small voice, shoulders hunched and hands buried in his jeans pockets.

“Yeah, he’s in his room.” Cat tells him.

“Thanks.” he murmurs and takes a step into the loft, but before he can advance any further to his destination, Cat stands in his way and stops him with a warning gaze. “I know.” he says quickly before she can voice her concerns or threats, “I’m not here to hurt him.”

With that, both she and Ragnor clear his path and Alec hurries past them, not looking back as he makes his way to Magnus’ bed room. He knocks on the door, and only opens when he hears a soft ‘come in’ from inside.

“Alexander.” 

Magnus is laying on his side on his large king size bed, when Alec walks into the room. And as he closes the door, Magnus quickly scrambles to his feet to stand in front of Alec. The utter surprise in his eyes shatters Alec’s heart, because it is clear as day that Magnus truly believed that he wasn’t coming back. 

They stand there for a moment, exchanging gazes, and Alec hates himself so much for causing Magnus to look so sad. 

Magnus is the first to tear his eyes away, as he bows his head and starts playing with his rings. Alec finds himself reaching out and cupping both of Magnus’ hands in both of his, leading them both to sit on the bed, “look, what you did for me today…” he begins after a deep breath. He lowers his head a bit, and when he manages to catch Magnus’ eyes again, he continues, “was the most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“That’s okay, you really don’t have to.” Magnus rambles quietly, looking down at their hands, then slowly pulls his own hands away, “you didn’t have to come all the way here just to tell me, I understand.”

Alec tilts his head and frowns, then slowly cups Magnus’ jaw and lifts his face up to look at him. He takes a moment just to gaze into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes, trying to read into them.

Magnus squirms under the gaze, because Alec has been the first in many years, if not the only, to manage to bore deep into his soul. Alec won’t let him budge as he reads him like an open book, which terrifies Magnus to no end.

“You really have no idea, do you?” Alec finally questions softly.

“What?” Magnus asks in a small, confused voice.

Alec smiles fondly at him, as his thumbs begin to stroke Magnus’ cheek bones, “whatever… if there was ever a time for me and Jace, it’s passed.” Alec tells him earnestly, “and when I read that letter, it just reminded me of how much that’s true.”

“But last night…” Magnus counters in a small voice, filled with all of his insecurities and self doubts. His voice trails off, too weak to actually complete the whole sentence.

Fortunately, Alec already understands without actually voicing it all, “I was an idiot.” he cuts in quickly, “I was so caught up in the excitement of seeing Jace again, that I didn’t even think…” when Magnus still doesn’t look convinced he adds, “Jace is so far away from ever being an option for me, that it didn’t even cross my mind that you might think that he could be anything more than he is... just a friend.”

Magnus’ eyes are adorably wide as he watches Alec intently, his gaze going blurry with the tears he’s been fighting back for what feels like forever. There is doubt written all over him, like he still can’t believe that Alec actually came back to him, chose him… “god, Magnus,  _ Babe…”  _ they both chuckle softly at that, and Alec is glad he managed to lighten up the mood, in preparation for his next confession, “I love you. So much.”

Magnus gasps, “you do?” he asks weakly, his voice finally cracking.

Alec smiles at him, wiping away the tears that began to spill with his thumb, “yeah, I do.” he says, keeping his eyes boring into Magnus, so he won’t have an option to waver for even a millisecond, “I love you so, so much Magnus.”

Then Alec pulls him in slowly and gently, capturing Magnus’ bottom lip between his own. When Magnus whimpers against his lips, Alec deepens the kiss, pulling him in even further, wrapping his arms around him protectively, never planning on letting go again.

“I love you, too.” Magnus finally murmurs in between kisses, causing Alec to pause for a moment to search Magnus’ eyes with a bright grin on his face. 

“You do?”

“Of course I do, you silly man.” then Alec is diving back in to claim his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo what are your thoughts? please let me know!
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> Love, MBL.


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